Kestrel Bizarro World, Round 2

Some of you may have remembered our trip into Bizarro World where I was asked to assemble a Kestrel from Colorado Cyclist. When I removed the cranks to grease the BB threads, it was blatantly obvious that something was array. Namely that the cups were on the wrong side of the bike and that neither of them would budge regardless of the amount of force applied.

Through this experience I was forced to speak to a Colorado Cyclist to explain what was wrong with the bike. When he finally got it and said he would be sending the customer a new one, he asked, "May I ask why you took the cranks off?" Answer in my head, "Cuz you fuck wads obviously didn't."

Another marketing fail

The Speed Limit brake. Wow, that is awesome. Order me two. You know what would have been even better, Speed Limiter brakes. Yup, nothing better than actually branding something with a synonym for what it is. Then you could do a whole fixed gear cog range that is called, "Brakes only slow you down." Or even better, a fixed gear specific front brake, you called call it the Endo. Or maybe the "Oh shit this was a bad idea" brake.

I guess since Butt Dragger went with the Speed Limit thing, it would seem logical that they would put the limit on the brake. Such as 5 mph...

The industry may need to work on its marketing a bit

I am often amazed at how fucking retarded some of the marketing is within the cycling industry. Here are a few examples.

Example #1 comes at us from Suntour forks. Alloy steerer? Is that all you got? That was cool technology, oh say 20 years ago. And what's with the steering wheel?

Example #2, Shimano has this really cool chain tool. You wanna know how I know it's cool? It's cuz it was treated with a special coating. I'm not sure if this means it was clear coated with some dude's protein shake or if it has Teflon impregnated into the handle. Either way, it's kind of retarded.

Example #3, Another one from the big S. Special Grease? Yes I realize it works well for its intended purpose, but couldn't you come up with something a little more creative? Maybe Slick Honey, Red Rum or White Jizz. Those all sound better to me...