Valve Cap Lock Nut

There's an app for that, oh and some plastic

Interbike the time of year when the interesting and odd products show up. A product for those who haven't sorted out limit screws... Check it out at bike rumor if you dare http://www.bikerumor.com/2015/10/01/bike-needs-a-tune-the-otto-tuning-system-has-an-app-for-that-with-smart-phone-based-derailleur-adjustment/

Consumer direct is the next big thing

Until it isn't....

Questions. So. Many. Questions.

Sometimes it's best to leave certain questions left unasked because it's almost guaranteed the answer will only create more.

Gatorskin Fail

Check this shit out, http://www.reddit.com/r/bicycling/comments/1k53w7/so_i_destroyed_my_gatorskins_in_one_week_can_you/

Absolutely hilarious.

$1700 Fucking Pedals

Unless you've been hiding under a rock, or just don't peruse the cycling world like most cyclists, you've heard about Garmin's new pedals. People who have heard of them are broken into two groups. First group, They're super sweet, cost $1700 and can tell you how much power each leg is laying down. Or if you are part of that other crowd, they are $1700 fucking pedals and why would anyone want pedals that cost that much. I've got plastic pedals that have lasted for years and cost me $10...

The first group is going to buy the pedals, they have the money and yes, it is important to them to know how much power each leg can throw down. That way, if they ever need to decide which leg to cut off they can make an informed decision. They also are going to love the fact that they can move them from bike to bike without too much fuss. A lot more convenient than their SRM crankset they've been rocking since Dura Ace 7800 was cool.

Read more...

This website is Fucked!

Kids,

It's been a good run. We've had some laughs. We've pissed off plenty of people. We offended even more. We even did some constructive work in teaching at least one person how to properly lube a chain. Unfortunately, what started out as a small, critical blog has become a bit of a monster lurking in the nightmares of my sleep. I can't keep up the facade of negativity any longer. I love riding bikes and the people who ride bikes too much to keep pointing a fucked up middle finger at all of them. It's just not what I want to do or be known for doing. So I'm out.

I will leave the blog up for a couple more weeks. If there is anyone who would like to take up the torch and continue this bull shit. Hit me up. We can probably work something out. Otherwise it will go black...

So long, and thanks for all the broken chains!

Fucking Bicycle Commuters

I'm back! Did you miss me? If so, you should quit spending so much damn time on the internet and go ride your fucked up bike.

For those of you who did miss me, I spent four days completely cut off from the modern world. In the desert with no internet connection, no bikes and no one around. I guess you could say I went Edward Abbey on my vacation. And it was awesome. It was so awesome mind you that the moment I stepped out of my truck I thought the world was coming to its much needed end because it was so damn loud.

The next thing that hit me was this article from Bike Rumor which happens to be the best comedic website I've come across since http://twilightguide.com/tg/. But then again anything Twilight related just makes me bust up laughing. Anyway, the article was about this amazing idea...

Problem Solvers

Problem Solvers Bedbugs from Problem Solvers on Vimeo.

QBP always coming through with the save... I know I've had a few calls that were about as out there as this one.

Fucking Search Terms

There is something wrong with you people. Bicycles are not meant to be fucked in the sexual term nor is this site in any way sexual. But god dammit if a good chunk of you don't get here looking for that....

It has a bit of flex...

whats wrong with this picture?

The industry may need to work on its marketing a bit

I am often amazed at how fucking retarded some of the marketing is within the cycling industry. Here are a few examples.

Example #1 comes at us from Suntour forks. Alloy steerer? Is that all you got? That was cool technology, oh say 20 years ago. And what's with the steering wheel?

Example #2, Shimano has this really cool chain tool. You wanna know how I know it's cool? It's cuz it was treated with a special coating. I'm not sure if this means it was clear coated with some dude's protein shake or if it has Teflon impregnated into the handle. Either way, it's kind of retarded.

Example #3, Another one from the big S. Special Grease? Yes I realize it works well for its intended purpose, but couldn't you come up with something a little more creative? Maybe Slick Honey, Red Rum or White Jizz. Those all sound better to me...

It may be a bad idea to pick your nose when being filmed.

Regardless of how fast you are picking your nose on camera is just not cool. But hurray for Psychocross!

This may not be a good idea.

Fuelselage

What every tri-dork needs, a sippy cup integrated into their $6000 frame. Wait, how do I clean it?

"SWORKS"

Was asked on the phone about "SWORKS" bikes? maybe a hyphen was missing? S-Works perhaps? 

And a pretty fbar'ed linkage for your viewing tonight!

What the fuck is that doing in there?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Fucking, fuckity fuck fuck fuck you Vuelta USA.

So here's a great idea for a wheel. Let's take some tiny ass washers and put them between the nipple and the rim. Just to make it better, let's make the rim deep dish and have hidden nipples. It will be rad and everyone will love us.

This has got to be one of the dumbest, asinine ideas I have ever seen realized. Zipp uses washers but they actually increase the surface area of the nipple. These little shits only cover the end of the nipple. The only use I can see is to add some flex in the nipple to rim interface. But isn't that what the rounded end of your god damn nipple does. I seriously have no fucking idea what these are for or how the fuck they are supposed to go in the rim. I've tried everything I can think of, any ideas?

Not only are the washers a bad idea, but Vuelta USA can't even get there fucking ERD right. Nope, you were off by a factor of those spokes are way too short. Did you forget to measure the distance from the outer side of the rim to where the nipple actually rests? I thought so. Thank you for wasting my time. I guess next time I know to tell the customer to send your wheels back and try buying something from a wheel company that doesn't have to contact Taiwan to get a fucking ERD on a rim they sell.

And right about now, I think Vuelta USA can go fuck themselves. Anyone interested in sending them hate mail, you can use my name. It's Moose K Nuckler.  Thank you and good night.

Tuffy and Solid tube?

when you really dont want to flat and you hate your wheelset!