Yea, I broke my gear.

Oval

Oval - the absolute worst name for a bicycle wheel.

I also noticed they have Oval bearings, Oval bars, Oval stems, Oval brakes....

Anyone else ever experience this?

I'm pretty sure I'm the only wrench in existence with this problem.

You see, I'm hairy. Like Harry and the Hendersons Hairy. When I wear shorts and I am airing up a tire I always forget that it is a bad idea to have the wheel leaning up against my leg. Using an air compressor to fill things up means the tire expands quickly catching the hair from my legs between the bead and the rim. It hurts.

If you look closely, you can see my hair.

That is all.

Fucking, fuckity fuck fuck fuck you Vuelta USA.

So here's a great idea for a wheel. Let's take some tiny ass washers and put them between the nipple and the rim. Just to make it better, let's make the rim deep dish and have hidden nipples. It will be rad and everyone will love us.

This has got to be one of the dumbest, asinine ideas I have ever seen realized. Zipp uses washers but they actually increase the surface area of the nipple. These little shits only cover the end of the nipple. The only use I can see is to add some flex in the nipple to rim interface. But isn't that what the rounded end of your god damn nipple does. I seriously have no fucking idea what these are for or how the fuck they are supposed to go in the rim. I've tried everything I can think of, any ideas?

Not only are the washers a bad idea, but Vuelta USA can't even get there fucking ERD right. Nope, you were off by a factor of those spokes are way too short. Did you forget to measure the distance from the outer side of the rim to where the nipple actually rests? I thought so. Thank you for wasting my time. I guess next time I know to tell the customer to send your wheels back and try buying something from a wheel company that doesn't have to contact Taiwan to get a fucking ERD on a rim they sell.

And right about now, I think Vuelta USA can go fuck themselves. Anyone interested in sending them hate mail, you can use my name. It's Moose K Nuckler.  Thank you and good night.

Fuck the Cool Factor!

I'm gonna go ahead and say what none of you want to hear.

You know all those blingy parts you recently purchased, all those fancy colored due dads that were supposed to be so much better than last year's model, all those Chris Bling and American Crassic lightweight parts. Those are all shit. You might as well throw them away. You might as well recycle them.

Yes. I get it. There is a cool factor involved in every purchase. Having the latest and the so called greatest is a way of life and if it motivates you to ride, I'm cool with that. I'm just sick of all the bull shit marketing that goes into those fancy parts that everyone is drooling over. Fuck the cool factor!

This is how it all breaks down. The safety bicycle came out a couple of hundred years ago, or so, and not much has changed since. You have two hubs, a bottom bracket bearing, a crank, a chain, some cogs, a steering bearing, a frame and a few other miserable parts that aren't worth mentioning. If you came across one of the original safety bicycles, or a penny farthing for that matter, you would notice that all this hyped up bull shit is almost identical to what came out a hundred years ago. All of our fancy manufacturing practices have done what? Provided you with a better selection of colors.

Bicycle Ejection Seat

Why didn't this product catch on?

Designed to fail

The Light Bulb Conspiracy is a documentary that drags us through the annals of time via the idea of planned obsolescence. The name of the film comes from the collusion of light bulb manufacturers to set the burn time of light bulbs to guarantee a steady flow of "need" from the public. It explores the thousands of patents that have been filed that are for longer burning, longer lasting filaments. They even show a light bulb that has been burning in Fire House back east for over 100 years. For the past decade or so they have had web cams watching the bulb. Two of them have had to be replaced.



The idea of planned obsolescence is not a new idea, nor is it an idea that seems to be fading into the sunset as we have increased our knowledge of materials and industrial processes. Quite the contrary, as better, lighter, stronger materials have become available, we have seen a decrease in product life expectancy. Not only have the products become less and less durable, but the season cycle or the idea of the never ending need to have the newest and the best has replaced the consumer's desire to have a product that will last. Why would I want a light bulb that lasts forever?

I present to you the Orbea Orca. Winner of the worst cable routing EVER Award!

I got the opportunity to wrench on a 2011 Orbea Orca with full Dura Ace this morning. The lady was complaining about her shifting. Seeing that I had worked on this bike and tried to explain to this lady over the phone what was going on, I took the occasion to explain the problem. I took pictures so you could all enjoy how fucked this bike is.

Obviously, this is the bottom bracket cradle. The cable runs down the down tube, making contact the entire way. It is then routed through a small metal bracket on the BB. Fairly straight forward except that the cable makes contact all the way down the down tube and then enters the bracket at one angle and leaves at another. Kind of like this, >.

After leaving the BB cradle, it heads toward the rear derailleur. I see three problems here. 1. the cable makes contact with the chainstay as it enters the cable stop. 2. The cable is again required to enter at one angle and leave at another, >, remember. 3. It then has to route right around the QR nut.

Ah, to the beginning of the problem. The cable enters at one angle and leaves at another, >. It leaves and makes contact for about three inches on the down tube. I don't know how long this customer ran the cable casing down the down tube, but there was wear almost all the way to the BB.

The customer was obviously, as mentioned, having shifting issues. I mean, how could she not? Right? I took the time to show her the problems and explain why it would shift poorly. She got it. She was smart. I said we had two options. I could make it shift perfectly with Di2. Seeing that there wasn't any cable friction to worry about. 2nd option, I could put Gore cables on the bike to reduce the friction. She opted for the latter and also decided to go with a Dura Ace chain. They are directional and can help shifting as well.

When the bike was done, it shifted almost flawlessly. As it entered the lower spring tension of the bottom of the cassette it would take an extra tooth or two to drop, but did drop. She left happy.

Luckily, I also gave her the disclaimer that Teflon can wear off and therefore the shifting may not stay as "awesome" as it is right now. She's looking at her options.

Good job, Orbea!