Fucking Bicycle Commuters

I'm back! Did you miss me? If so, you should quit spending so much damn time on the internet and go ride your fucked up bike.

For those of you who did miss me, I spent four days completely cut off from the modern world. In the desert with no internet connection, no bikes and no one around. I guess you could say I went Edward Abbey on my vacation. And it was awesome. It was so awesome mind you that the moment I stepped out of my truck I thought the world was coming to its much needed end because it was so damn loud.

The next thing that hit me was this article from Bike Rumor which happens to be the best comedic website I've come across since http://twilightguide.com/tg/. But then again anything Twilight related just makes me bust up laughing. Anyway, the article was about this amazing idea...

Look I made a lefty!

Who can tell me what is wrong with this photo?

Destroyed

This bike had some "drag" in the headset. I pulled the top cap and I knew immediately what the problem was. The top bearing was fixable but the bottom was completely gone. Unfortunately this is an old USPS Trek with a 1 1/4" bottom bearing size with no taper on the bearing. The Trek dealer in town said he could possibly get one for me but he would have to call and find out. For now, it still has drag.

When it starts to rattle, stop and see what is going on, don't just keep riding it until the shock gets stuck down.

So the story behind the photos. A stumpy was dropped off yesterday with some shock issues and seeing that the thing hadn't ever been service and it was about 5 years old, I figured it would be best to send it in. Well, then we tried to remove the shock and the details became blaringly evident. Broken shock bolt, blown bearings, blown link, and yup the lower eyelet was toast, not just the bushing the entire eyelet. Fun!

Broken T-Mobile Frame

Apparently, the person that installed this BB didn't get the memo that 900 ft. lbs was a bit excessive on the torque. The tool you see in my hands is what I like to call "the big guns." It is a 3/4" ratchet mated to an adaptor that brings it down to a 1/2" driver size. perfect for BB's.

What this picture fails to show in any way, shape or form, is that there is a crack that runs from about 5mm under the bottom braze-on boss to about 5mm above the top braze-on boss. And that both are about to pull out of the frame. I got the BB out, but the frame was toast...

A Pile of Shiv

It has been rumored that the shop will be receiving the biggest Shiv award this year. Seeing that we have built 7, four from this model year. The first six have been fairly straight forward if you don't mention the time spent customizing Di2 cables so that the build looked descent (21 hours plus having to outsource to a small electric motor specialist). Number 7 turned into a pile of Shiv.

As you can see from the pic, the first issue I ran into was the fact that the factory did not thread the hanger. Being the kick ass wrench that I am, I did 'em a solid and took care of the problem After tapping the hanger I completely finished the build with a full group of Super Record 11 including the new return-to-center shifters (which as a side note are kick ass and way fucking better than the shit that ScRAM makes. I mean you can adjust the angle of the lever, and smooth, I mean smooth shifting...). Finishing a Shiv build takes a while, try 5 hours due to the intricacy of the cable routing and the thousand piece extension stacker.

To finish up I just need to straighten the stem and torque 'er down. Customer is patiently awaiting their $10,000 bike.

Before I continue with this little tale of Shivness, let me interject some personal philosophy. Torque wrenches are awesome and absolutely vital for high end builds/repairs. I know a lot of "old school" wrenches that refuse to use a torque wrench because they claim their elbows are calibrated or some other dumb ass shit. Well, take your calibrated elbow and see if you can consistently hit 40 inch pounds without going over ten times in a row. Can you? Fuck no. A good, careful technician will be under 7 times and over 2 and pretty damn close once. What does all this mean? If you are a bike mechanic who likes to work on high end stuff, invest in a god damn torque wrench. And I don't mean the shit that is floating around the industry and  toted as a "torque wrench." Park's wrenches are a joke. Pedro's? Don't make me laugh. Topeak? Getting better... I personally prefer Snap On's digitial. Good to within 1% accuracy and the read out gives you an exact number for the amount of torque reached. Vital! Plus they self calibrate when turned on.

Ok, to continue.

I grab my trusty Snap On torque wrench and a 4 mm bit and begin the daily task of torquing a stem on a carbon steerer. The recommended torque is 4.5Nm. Yes, I looked it up to be sure before starting. I'm tightening the top bolt but just as I feel things start to slightly tighten I feel a slight pop and then the bolt will only tighten to 3.77Nm (trusty digital read out). Being that I am deprived of sugar in my blood and have been working on this bike for almost five hours, I try the bottom bolt. Same result. A little confused, I check the stem and see that the threads have pulled out of the stem...

Five hours and a bike that can't be ridden... Thanks Special Ed.